Preview #2

I loved her, or I thought I loved her. What I've come to understand as love is merely a product of every story I've ever read, and every movie I've ever seen. Love never seemed to be an easy emotion to grasp, yet so many tossed the word around as if it were interchangeable. 

'I love you' could mean the same as 'I enjoy you', 'You being pressed against me feels amazing', or my favorite, 'I sincerely have trust issues, but I'm going to say I love you because I feel like that's what you want to hear'. For lack of a better word, I dare say that's all just lovely.

My mind flooded with images of happiness whenever she crept into my head. An old couple, wedding rings tight around their fingers as they lock hands, watching two kids argue over a stuffed animal in front of them. It's us, can't you see it? We're perfect for each other. If only you could see what I can, understand the potential we have for everlasting happiness that I envision. 

Click

That sound. It's hollow, haunting, even. Like an itch, progressing as the sound echoes louder, leaving me with a stinging sensation. What was it? Has my mind left me? It was only a matter of time, as most people have also followed suit with the notion that I'm toxic. Was it her? Calling out to me, beckoning me closer?

Click

No, it's something more. Something creeping ever closer, not quite tangible. I can't put my mind on it. Love, is that you? Are you testing me? I will not fail you. My dear, it is I, you need not hide any longer. I've left the door open, you need only walk through.

Thud

Again, but louder! I'm here, my love! Step out from the shadows so I may gaze upon your beauty! How beautiful you must look, those locks of perfect, shimmering silver, untouched by the world's spite and despair!

Crash

Why must you hide, love? I'm here, can you not hear my voice? How it aches for your company! Call out to me, my dearest Noel, my perfection, my golden.

Crack

Dear? What are you doing? My love, you are testing my patience! I've shown you my love, why must you push me further? Have I not been faithful? Have I not been true?

Smash

Enough! You've clearly no desire for my presence, nor my affection! Do you see what you do to me? What my love for you pressures me into? I must release, my dear Noel. Release, and refrain from torture, as my soul knows little more than agony! Pierce me, Noel! Do you feel it? Can you feel the warmth, an extension of my love? It stains me, Noel! Red, the color of love! The color of us!

Silence

You ignore me? The only one who could ever truly make you happy? You've stained more than my shirt, Noel! For I shall pass to you what none have been courageous enough to give me! A release, Noel! Free from all burdens! Can you see it? Can you see us, Noel? The love? The beauty? You cannot hide! I see you! Feel me, Noel! Look! It's here, Noel! Rest, rest and take my hand! Do you feel it? The warmth of my being, it flows into you! We are but one now! Noel! We shall be together! Look me in the eyes, my love! I love you, my Noel. Soon, we will be but one!

Bang

My love! I shall miss you! Oh, how your warmth is contagious!